Standing in SeaTac waiting on my delayed flight back to DC, I found myself wondering into the terminal book store. I poked around on some shelves without really thinking, just trying to pass the time, when I realized I was in front of the self-help section with You are a Badass open in my hand giggling away. I know I'm not the only person who's done this while smugly thinking "I don't need this, I'm good." This particular day, doing exactly that, the first paragraph of Jen's intro hooked me. It's honest humor and frank language spoke straight to my sceptic side and I bought it...the title helped too.
"We need people to feel happy and fulfilled and loved so they don't take their shit out on themselves and other people..." Exactly Jen but how do I do that?? I found myself asking somewhere around 10,000ft. As with any guiding voice worth their salt, she tells me that first I must openly confront myself and my issues before I go running about on my high horse telling others how, when, and where to confront theirs. Alright then, bring on the subconscious confrontation. Truth be told I did need to do this. I was struggling with how I was going to take the first step toward reinventing myself while staring down the inevitable day when I would leave the military and have to relearn now to be a civilian after almost two decades.
The advice of the next one-hundered plus pages pushed me to confront my ego, or what Jen calls the Big Snooze. "The Big Snooze operates according to your limiting false beliefs" and the "first key to ridding yourself of limiting subconscious beliefs is to become aware of them." These limiting beliefs are pumped into all of us from the moment we're born and can become the foundation of our personal mantra. It's not until we have gained some independence, and self-awareness, that we start to become aware of our ingrained mantras. Many people won't take steps to change them. They will surrender and say to themselves that "welp, it's just who and how I am". The truth is though that you are in full control of your self-perception, your reality, and your mantra. Stop believing the "I can't statements" forced on you by others and choose the mantra of a badass.
"You are a badass. You were when you came screaming onto this planet and you are one now."
Once you confront your ego, adjust your self-talk, and adopt a positive new mantra you can start loving yourself. Loving you is step one to leading others. If you don't know who you are, what drives you, and what your goals are, you won't be able to lead to the best of your ability. Leading doesn't have to be in the corporate setting. Leading needs to take place in our homes, class rooms, book clubs, and neighborhoods too. A leader isn't necessarily someone wearing a high end outfit, driving an expensive car, and taking vacations to exclusive beaches. A leader is a mom, dad, sister, brother, auntie, uncle, neighborhood elder, store owner, or other such day-to-day figure in our lives who can pump you full of positive beliefs that drive your mantra in the badass direction it was meant to go! Jen ends several of her chapters with Love Yourself. What an amazing thought to close with time after time. Two simple words stuck together to form a powerful request. Love yourself then lead others to do the same with the practical steps she recommends in chapters 1-13.
"Chapter 14 Gratitude: The Gateway Drug to Awesomeness" is where I'll pick up the discussion on July 6th. Come on back to hear more about being a real badass!